In the great metaphorical scheme of things, we all have a to-do list. One that's often a mental list of the things we'd like to work towards in our lives.
Buy a house, get a promotion, get married, go overseas, move cities.
But have you ever felt so desperate to get something or be somewhere, that, when after so much hard work, the thing doesn't feel quite as incredible as you thought it would during all that time you spent wanting?
It's common. You could probably recall a few times you got something you wanted only to realise it wasn't what you thought it would be in the first place.
It can be maddening to think and honestly believe you are on the right track, only to be left disheartened, confused about why it doesn't feel as you imagined.
The problem? What you want isn't guaranteed to give you the results you so deeply crave.
So, this mental and metaphorical to-list - one that's often been automatically filled by the societal norms around you - could be the root problem. Instead, it's time to write a great to-feel list for your life.
I want to feel: at home, purposeful, loved, cultural, excited, challenged.
Now - the goals you make and the actions you take are aligned with finding these feelings. You are focused on emotions rather than destinations that may not bring the result you seek.
Take love for example; marriage isn't the only way to find love. It is a beautiful way, but there are so many others. If to feel loved is the aim instead, you open yourself up to all sorts of incredible loving relationships, platonic or other.
And if to feel is the goal, then when you pivot because something isn't giving you that feeling, it becomes less of a disappointment. Instead, you are simply realigning your path towards your goal.
So take pen to paper. What's on your to-do list? And what feeling is it you are searching for in reaching that goal? Now let that feeling become the goal instead. Make that feeling the priority and the determining factor of success.